The Forgotten Doll
by ElisaCollette
Summary: Maria disappeared from Roswell years ago, leaving behind all those who loved her.  A tragedy brings her home again - but everything has changed.  As her secrets unravel, everyone in her life - past and present - will feel the tremors.  AU.
1. Presenting the Doll

I wrote this years ago; when Roswell was still on television. I'm not sure when I removed it from , but I decided to put it back up. Please share your thoughts and ideas - I hope you enjoy the story. It is an AU story; Liz and Max, Maria and Michael, Isabel and Alex.

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><p><strong>Prologue - Presenting the Doll<strong>

The little girl stared intently at the pink box, knowing that its contents were probably wonderful and exciting. Her parents peered at her over the table and she knew from their cautionary glances that she wouldn't be allowed to open her presents until after dinner and cake. She fidgeted all through the meal, wondering what her Mama had gotten her for her birthday. It was a special birthday, her sixth to be exact.

She smiled and giggled with excitement as she opened the big pink box and pulled out the most beautiful doll she had ever seen. Her excitement dwindled as she remembered an argument her parents had the night before when they thought she was asleep. They fought about the same thing they always fought about – money. Even at that tender age, she understood her parents' problems and did not want to add to them by receiving such an extravagant doll. Through his subtle yet jolting glares at her mother, the little girl knew that her father had nothing to do with the purchase of the little luxury. She gently laid the porcelain figure back in its box and took it to her room, knowing that she would give it back as soon as their guests left.

That night, after she was in bed, her mother crept into the room and sat on the edge of her bed, smiling at her daughter who was pretending to be asleep. "Did you enjoy your birthday? I can't believe my baby is six."

"I'm not a baby mama."

"I know. You're getting too old for your dear Mama's heart. Didn't you like your present?" Her mother had seen the box in the corner of the room and knew that the doll was still in it. The little girl could hear the clicking of her mother's pearls as she turned her head to look towards the dark corner. She loved the sound of her mother's strands of pearls clicking together, it was more magical a sound than sleigh bells in winter.

"I love her. She's beautiful," the little girl whispered. "But Mama, I can't keep her. We can't afford her."

"Nonsense," her mother said quickly. Understanding immediately that her little angel had overheard an argument between her and her husband, she fumed. She stood up, walked across the room, and carefully pulled the doll from its bed of tissue paper. She sat back down on the edge of the bed and looked at her daughter. "This is your doll. Don't you worry your pretty little head over what it cost. You are worth every penny." She gently laid the doll in her little girl's arms and kissed her forehead. "A beautiful doll for a beautiful girl."

"Mama, what do you wish for?"

"What baby?"

"When you blow out the candles, what do you wish for?" The mother was slightly taken aback by the question but smiled in the darkness and sighed before answering.

"When I was a little girl, I would wish for a pretty doll or a new party dress. As I got older, I had bigger dreams of far off lands and princes. They were silly, really."

"What do you wish for now?"

"Nothing."

"Why?" The little girl gasped at her mother's answer.

"Because, baby girl, you are my wish. You are every dream I ever had, every dream I ever will have. You are my wish. Now go to sleep," she said with one last kiss. The little girl closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around the beautiful new doll as she drifted off into a peaceful and contented sleep.


	2. Voices and Visions from the Past

**Chapter 1 - Voices and Visions from the Past**

The young woman lay alone in her room, waiting for sleep to come but knowing it would probably be a few more hours before her mind settled down enough to succumb to her exhaustion. The night's inky blackness was darker and lonelier than usual and the distinct scent of a storm was growing stronger with each gust of the howling wind. She instinctively shivered as the first bolt of lightning pierced the night sky and was quickly followed by a low and ominous rumbling of thunder. Scolding herself for being so easy to spook and pulling the covers closer to her, she tried to close her eyes once more. Finally finding herself on the edge between sleep and reality, she was startled and shot up into a sitting position when she heard her bedroom door slam open. She immediately came eye to eye with the uninvited monster.

His eyes were dark pools and the rest of him was merely a shadow in the night. She tried to scream and alert someone, anyone; but it was futile when his humungous hands wrapped around her mouth, almost inhibiting her breathing as much as her ability to scream. The bolts of lightning outside gave her just enough light to see that her assailant had bright blue eyes and a full head of brown hair. She immediately tried to fight him but it helped very little considering he was a good foot and a half taller than her five-foot frame and much heavier.

She fought for a good long time before her nails came scratching down the side of his face. He whispered profanities at her and hit her, drawing blood from her cheek with his silver ring. It for wasn't until he pulled out a knife and motioned her not to move that she sobbed with the realization that this was going to happen and she had no power to stop him. The cold metal of the knife kept her sobs shallow; any harder and the knife would have cut through her delicate skin without him moving. Her last conscious glance was at the perfect porcelain china doll sitting on her dresser. It seemed to be whispering, "you are my wish." After that, everything went black.

Maria sat up with a gasp, cold sweat drenching her silken green nightgown as the chilly air hit her bare shoulders. There was a winter storm brewing outside and she cringed at the realization that the cold and miserable weather was blowing in so rapidly. She crept quietly out of bed and only faltered slightly when her husband reached after her in his sleep. Sighing lightly, she held his hand for a moment and then laid it back on the bed, whispering her explanation.

"I just need some air. Go back to sleep," she urged. He mumbled something in his sleep and rolled back over. She crept quietly into the kitchen and fumbled around with the tea kettle, willing her hands to stop shaking as she poured in the hot water and then sat down to wait for it to boil. Her blond hair cascaded in loose curls around her shoulders as her head fell into her hands and she pushed her palms against her eyes, trying in vain to stop the tears. The clock struck three and the first thing that crossed her mind was that it was going to be a terribly long day.

She was a beautiful doll, her china face perfect in every way and her dress as elegant as a princess's gown. She had spent years being dragged around by a little girl who shared the same curly blond hair and bright green eyes. The doll had been her best friend, her truest and most reliable confidant. Even when she had grown too old for her other dolls, the china doll held a special place in her heart and in her room. While the room had transformed from hello kitty into more serious greens and purples the doll had stayed in a prominent stop on a shelf while the other toys had been packed away in boxes and eventually given away to some charity or another. Eventually, the little girl had grown up and gone from home, leaving the doll along with the other sometimes-painful reminders of the end of her mostly wonderful childhood.

She had taken her purse and a few necessities but otherwise, the room in her mother's home looked as though she still lived there. Every once in a while, she remembered that beautiful china doll and how she had been so excited the first time she had seen it. That was all in the past and anytime she caught herself thinking about it, she would shake her head and turn back to her work. It was in those quiet moments at work, when she was supposed to be writing one thing or another that she would start to think of the things that could have been.

At home, her own two little beauties kept her busy enough that she rarely thought of the days she had left behind; the girl she had hidden away behind her new facade. The last thoughts of the perfect china doll with its bright green eyes and soft, satin blue dress flew away as the phone rang next to her and hurriedly hurled her back to reality.

"Hello, Maria DeLuca," she stated calmly, trying to collect her thoughts as she waited for a reply. There was a long pause and she almost ready to hang up the phone when she heard a wavering voice begin to speak.

"Maria?" Maria sank back into her chair, unable to speak as the voice registered with her swarming mind. Liz. Her best friend. Her best friend from before. "Maria, are you there?" She could hear the tears in her friend's voice and she knew immediately that something was not quite right. Then again, simply receiving that phone call meant that something had gone terribly wrong.

"I'm here," Maria said in a voice barely above a whisper. "Is everything alright? Did something happen?"

"Maria, I… I don't. I can't—" Maria could hear Liz's voice breaking and then a short, muffled conversation before someone else came on the line.

"Maria?" It was Max, his voice gruff from probably the same grief that was causing Liz's tears. High school sweethearts, he and Liz had been married for almost eight years and although he and Maria had originally had their differences, they had come to respect and love one another. They both realized how important it was for Liz to have the other in her life and it had caused a bond between them.

Until the day she had left, Maria had counted him and his sister as two of her best friends. Almost eight years later, she was primarily sure that they both hated her for leaving so quickly and without explanation. She was familiar enough with his personality to know that if he was calling off his grudge against her for leaving, something awful must have happened.

"Max, what's wrong?"

"I don't know how to tell you this. It's not the best conversation to have over the phone—"

"Just spill it Max."

"Maria, you need to come home."

"You know I can't. We've talked about this before."

"It's not up for debate. We need you here and I won't tell you anything else until I pick you up at the airport," Max said firmly, trying to replace his sadness with anger. He was still angry with her for leaving and for making Liz constantly wonder if her best friend was safe and happy. A nagging thought in the back of his mind reminded him that he was also a bit hurt that Maria had left without any explanation or farewell to any of them.

"You can't order me around," replied Maria indignantly. "I have a life here, I can't just come at your beck and call."

"Maria, we need you to come home," stated Max much more gently and he knew from her sigh that the more passive approach had worked. She bit her bottom lip as she tried to think of all the possibilities that her oldest friends were ordering her back to the home of her childhood. None of them were good. "There's a flight leaving Boston at nine tonight and there's a ticket waiting for you at the gate. I'll pick you up at the airport in Albuquerque."

"Max—"

"Please don't argue. I'll see you soon." Before she had the chance to react, he had hung up and the only sound was the pulsing dial tone. Maria slowly hung up the phone and pushed a button that rang her assistant. The young woman came in a moment later and Maria absentmindedly played with her hair as she tried to decide how to string together a coherent thought without sounding completely crazy.

"Iris, Hi. Um… I just got a call and I have to be out of town for the next few days. Can you cancel my meetings?" Maria was rambling as she stood up and tried to gather her things.

"Of course Ms. DeLuca. Is anything wrong? Should I call Mr. Gilbert?"

"No, everything is fine. Thank you. Yes, please call Josh. Have him meet me at home. Tell him it's important and to pick the girls up on his way." She wasn't even sure her secretary had understood everything she had just asked for but she quickly left the office, her mind reeling with possible scenarios.

*~*~* New Mexico

Max Evans hung up the phone and walked back into his bedroom where his wife was curled up in a tiny ball, as compact as humanly possible. It seemed that the pain and the hurt rattled her less if she just didn't move. Her eyes darted towards the door as he walked in but they both remained silent. Max sat behind her on the soft blue comforter and pulled her into his arms, unclenching her small fists so that he could hold her hands in his. Liz let out a muffled sob as she buried her face in his chest and he automatically moved to rub her back, trying to sooth her as she cried again.

She had cried herself to sleep all over again by the time Max heard someone at the front door. He ignored it, knowing that if it was someone he wanted to see they would let themselves in. Sure enough, his sister peered into the room just a moment later and he gently climbed out from under his wife to greet her. He quietly closed the door and motioned for Isabel to follow him into the kitchen. Once they were there, he realized that she looked as awful as he felt. Her long blond hair was missing its usual curl and a lack of sleep had left dark circles under her bloodshot eyes. He put his arms around his sister and hugged her, as much for his comfort as for hers.

"Did you call Maria?" Isabel pulled away from her brother as she posed her question and busied herself in the kitchen that had become a shambles in the past day and a half. The little food that had been prepared was spoiling on the counters and table and dirty dished were piled everywhere.

"Yeah. She's coming. I didn't give her much choice."

"How did she take the news?"

"I couldn't tell her on the phone. I just told her to get here," Max admitted quietly. "I just couldn't tell her on the phone."

"I don't blame you," Isabel said reassuringly. "Does he know she's coming?" Her voice was soft as she tried to ask about an exceptionally sensitive subject. Max shook his head as he hooked his hands behind it and walked across the kitchen, trying somehow to release the nervous energy that had built up inside of him over that past two days.

"He doesn't even know what happened. I've been trying to get a hold of him since yesterday. He's out of the country. Some exhibition in London. Not checking messages everyday." Simply nodding in understanding, she pulled her hair back with a clip that had been sitting above the sink, pulled an apron on over her black A-lined skirt, and set aside her watch and white gold rings.

"Izzie, you don't have to do that," he said in protest as she started to fill the sink with hot, soapy water.

"I have to keep busy. Our house is cleaner than it has been since we moved in. Alex practically kicked me out this morning and I think Maddie agreed with him. She thought her mother had lost it, scrubbing the refrigerator doors with a nail brush."

"Well, her uncle could have told her that a long time ago," he said with a teasing twinkle in his eye. He stepped out of the way just in time to avoid her playful swat with the dishtowel. She rolled her eyes and nodded with a sad smile, silently admitting that she was a bit obsessive when she was upset.

"I just needed to get out of the house."

"This isn't exactly the best place to get away," Max said with a cynical scoff. "I've never seen Liz like this. I don't know what to do."

"You're doing just fine. There's not much you can do. Be there for her and she'll come around. Go back to her; I'll be fine in here. Alex is coming over as soon as Maddie wakes up from her nap."

"You're wonderful," Max said as she kissed her on the cheek and walked out of the room and back towards his wife. He couldn't help but chuckle when he realized that his sister was probably going to clean everything from the dishes to the drapes and organize everything from their junk drawer to the medicine cabinet. He shrugged and decided to let Alex worry about his neurotic sister. He curled up next to Liz and fell back asleep, never hearing Alex and Madeline arrive.

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><p>I hope you enjoyed. Please let me know your thoughts. Since the story is complete, I will update as soon as I have 10 reviews.<p> 


	3. Secrets Unravel

Chapter 2 Secrets Unravel

*~*~* Boston

Maria was perched on the front steps of their brownstone, not caring that she was sitting on the cold ground in one of her favorite suits. The red silk pants would recover and if not, they really didn't deserve to be part of her favorite suit. Favorite things should be durable, she thought as her mind wandered. They should be there in good times and in bad. Every sign so far that day had pointed towards bad times and she prayed with every fiber of her being that those signs were wrong. She tapped her heals nervously against the stone steps as she hugged her arms around her knees and waited for her husband to arrive with their daughters. It was only fifteen minutes later when the two little girls came running full speed towards her, their giggling causing a smile to take the place of her wearied expression.

"Mama! Look what I made!" She said as she held up a piece of artwork constructed from different colors of paper and pasta. "I cut myself with Robbie's scissors and my finger just bleeded and bleeded," she said urgently, not giving her mother enough time to correct her grammar. "Mrs. Howe sent me to the nurse. Why did we have to leave school anyway? We were having a party today. I missed the cookies," Natalie said emphatically as though the world would end if she didn't get her cookies. She was obviously much more concerned about the lack of cookie than the bandage that she proudly wore around her left pointer finger. Maria smiled weakly at the six year old and pulled her into a quick hug.

"I'm sorry, baby. I think we might have a few cookies in the kitchen. Why don't you take Ana into the house and find Celeste? Tell her I said you could have milk and cookies."

"Mama, it's not even lunch time yet," Anabelle said in her babyish voice as she giggled at her mom being silly.

"It'll be our secret," Maria whispered to her youngest daughter before kissing her and waving her into the house. The little girl giggled again and her brown curls bounced merrily as she followed her sister into the house to find the housekeeper. Josh set down his briefcase and sat next to her, knowing that something was obviously very wrong. They sat in silence for a while, Maria never even realizing that her small hands were almost frozen through. The nervousness and horror about what she was going to have to tell her husband had left her feeling completely numb.

"Let's take a walk," she finally said. Josh nodded, knowing that it was useless to argue the cold with her. He picked up his briefcase and hers, which she had absentmindedly left on the sidewalk, and deposited them inside the front door before catching up to her. They walked around the quaint city neighborhood for a good ten minutes before she decided to speak again. "I lied," she said simply.

"What? Mar, what are you talking about? You're scaring me. And the girls," he added for good measure. Even at the innocent ages of four and six, they had known that something was wrong when their father had arrived to pick them up in the middle of the morning. Maria took a deep breath and decided to blurt it all out; that would be the only way she would be able to share her secret with him once and for all.

"I lied, about everything. I'm not from Pennsylvania; I'm from New Mexico. I'm not an orphan who ran away; I left my friends and family back in New Mexico without a second thought. I haven't seen them in over eight years and have barely spoken to any of them since." She rubbed her hands across her arms in an effort to warm them as the cold air finally started to affect her. Josh was silent, not knowing what to say or even where to begin processing the information.

"You've lied to me for seven years," he said with a voice mixed with confusion and anger. She nodded. "Maria, you lied for seven years!" His voice was raised slightly and she shivered as she realized that he wasn't going to take the news as well as she had hoped.

"I'm sorry. I didn't have a choice," she said quietly as she tried desperately to stop her tears.

"There's always a choice. The truth. What difference does it make where you're from or who you have in your past? Why couldn't you just tell me the truth?"

"I couldn't. I couldn't be who I was anymore. I needed to forget and leave that all behind. I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you—"

"Stop. Don't apologize. You aren't sorry because if you were, you would have told me all this years ago." She shuttered at his cold accusation but remained silent; mostly because she knew he was right. "Why now? Why are you telling me now?" Josh directed his questions to her but avoided looking at her entirely. She swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths before beginning.

"I got a call this morning at the office. Max told me to come home. Something's wrong and they need me there. He didn't give me much of a choice so it must be bad."

"Who's Max?"

"Liz's husband. Liz is, or was, my best friend," Maria replied in a muffled tone.

"So you're panicking, pulling the girls out of school, and digging out old skeletons because an old friend called your this morning and told you to come home? Come on Mar, that's ridiculous!"

"You don't know Max. He—he knows how I feel about coming home. He never even would have called unless if was a complete emergency. Something has to be terribly wrong."

"I can't believe this—"

"I have to leave tonight," she said decidedly. I didn't want to leave you and the girls without explaining. I'll talk to my lawyer—"

"What are you taking about?"

"I don't expect you to forgive me," said Maria in a calmer voice, her rational side now taking place of her whirling emotions. "I'd understand if you want a divorce. But please don't take the girls away from me," she said as her voice began to waver again. She wouldn't imagine her life without her two little pixies.

"Maria, I don't know what you're babbling about but that is not how I operate. We can't just hit a bump in the road and call in quits." She stopped walking and looked at him with the first feeling of hope that she'd had all morning. She had prepared herself for the worst, thinking that Josh would never forgive her for the lies that she had told. "We'll work this out. But no more lies," he said calmly but refused to look directly at her as she began to cry. As they walked back home in silence, she wondered how he could look past everything she had done while he wondered what else she had lied about.

"There should be enough food for the week but if you want anything else, tell Celeste. Iris is canceling all of my meetings but if anyone tries to call, tell them I'm not taking business calls right now and that I'll call back as soon as I can." Maria rambled on with whatever came to the top of her head as she folded sweaters, skirts, and pants into a suitcase. She looked up in surprise when Josh opened up his own suitcase and also began to pack. "What are you doing?"

"Coming with you."

"Josh—"

"No more shutting me out Maria. I deserve to know what's going on. I'm coming," he stated firmly.

"The girls—"

"They can come too," he stated simply. Maria nodded but tears came to her eyes as she realized that both of her worlds were about to come crashing together right in front of her. She had always thought that her tangled web of a life would be sorted out once she left the mortal world; she never imagined that she would live to see it. She threw in one more pair of shoes and her makeup bag before closing the suitcase and sitting next to it on the bed.

"You'd better go pack for Ana and Nat," Josh suggested distantly as he continued to pack his own bag. Maria simply nodded again and left the room, feeling completely lost and alone. Glancing at the family portrait that hung in the hallway, she forced a smile as she walked towards the bedroom of her older daughter. She was soon going to be put in front of the French firing squad and she could only guess at who would be the first to pull the trigger.

She barely had time to worry about what was wrong in New Mexico during their short flight. Any thoughts of Ana and Natalie sleeping through the flight were lost the moment the four of the stepped onto the plane. The two bubbled and gabbed the entire time, reminding their father of when he had first met Maria. She never stopped talking and her usual spirit was in complete contrast to the woman who sat next to him during that flight. Her bubbly nature was replaced with nervous fatigue as she tried to concentrate on the novel she was holding. He tried to watch the movie showing at the front of the cabin but there were too many unanswered questions swimming through his muddled thoughts.

*~*~* Airport in Albuquerque

Isabel and Alex waited patiently in front of the gate, neither one of them talking about anything more important than the weather. Isabel hadn't had the heart to wake her brother and sister-in-law and so she had dragged her husband to the airport with her to pick up Maria. She didn't trust herself enough to come on her own; she and Maria hadn't spoken in years and she knew her biting comments weren't usually as frequent when Alex was around. Never one for calm discussions, Isabel sometimes let her emotions get the best of her and that wasn't the welcoming she wanted Maria to receive.

Alex had his arm around his wife, trying to calm her anger and nervousness as she waited for a friend she hadn't seen in almost a decade. There was so much anger and so many unresolved issues surrounding Maria's departure that Isabel tensed up whenever the event was mentioned. Having been just as close to Maria during high school, Alex had been just as crushed when she had left without a word. Unlike Liz and Isabel, he did not take it personally and he knew deep down that her reasons were probably good and understood that she had needed to get away.

They both saw her before she even looked up. Her hair was still long and blond with loose curls that bounced gracefully along the soft cashmere of her black sweater. Her black skirt was covered with big white flowers and to each side of her clung a little girl. Isabel tried not to gasp as she saw the two little girls, each an angelic and tiny version of her mother. The smaller girl had much darker hair than Maria but she was gifted with the same sparkling green eyes and stubborn little chin. Maria spotted them and walked over, nudging the two girls along with her as a tall, handsome man followed. He was the reason for the smaller girl's dark hair and the older one's light brown eyes.

Maria stopped walking a few feet from them and Isabel could see her chin trembling as she fought tears. Any anger she had previously been harboring disappeared as she stepped forward and embraced one of her oldest friends.

"I'm sorry," she heard the trembling Maria whisper.

"Don't," Isabel commanded. "It's in the past." She gave her friend one last squeeze before letting go and giving Alex a turn. He picked Maria up with the ease of picking up a football and gave her a great big bear hug. Through her own bleary eyes, Isabel could see the tears streaming down Maria's cheeks as she buried her face in Alex's neck. After they all calmed down, Maria turned around to see her daughters clinging to their father. All three were obviously confused by the scene. She knelt down between the two little girls and pulled them close, wiping away her tears as she looked back towards Alex and Isabel.

"Ana and Natalie, there's someone you should meet. Well, two people actually. This," she said as she pointed to Isabel, "if my friend Isabel," she whispered. "And this is her husband Alex, another of my oldest and dearest friends." She smiled as Ana and Natalie timidly smiled at the two strangers, not yet sure of what to make of the people who had made their mother cry.

"Alex, Isabel, these are my daughters, Anabelle and Natalie and my husband Josh." Alex moved to shake Josh's hand over Maria's head while Isabel smiled in greeting.

"Let's get you home," Alex said simply as he held his hand out to help her up. Maria hadn't told them about bringing her husband and daughters. Actually, she hadn't actually mentioned having a husband and daughters. Luckily, Isabel had grabbed the keys to her car instead of Alex's or Max's. Not only did she have enough seats, she also had Maddie's car seat for Anabelle.

The two-hour trip from the airport was uneventful with only Isabel, Ana, and Natalie speaking. The two girls were thrilled to find out that they were going back to where their mother had grown up. Isabel chattered on with the little girls, asking them questions about school and friends. Alex and Josh were silent for most of the ride and after only a few minutes of holding on, Maria finally succumbed to her exhaustion and fell asleep leaning against the door. When they arrived in front of Max and Liz's home, Alex pulled the car to a stop and Isabel jumped out, carrying a sleeping Ana towards the house.

Josh watched her go and wondered what she was doing. He had assumed that they would be staying in a hotel but these old friends of his wife's obviously had other plans. He thought about protesting but didn't know what to say and so he took Natalie and followed Isabel, leaving Alex with a sleeping Maria. It was already dark outside but the lights that Max had turned on in the front yard and in the house gave just enough light for Alex to notice their neighbor watching from his front porch. Strangely enough, he quickly disappeared when Alex tried to wave in greeting. Instead of worrying about the odd behavior of the man they had known for years, he turned back to the car and looked at the peacefully sleeping Maria.

"Some things never change," he whispered as he picked her up and maneuvered her small form out of the car. _At least this time she wasn't drunk and they weren't in high school_, he thought with a grin. Max was standing in the hallway and nodded when Alex headed towards the guest bedroom. After Maria and the girls were settled into the guestroom, Josh and Alex joined Max and Isabel in the kitchen where she was making hot chocolate.

"You must be Maria's husband," Max said simply as he extended his hand. "I'm Max Evans."

"Josh Gilbert," Josh said as he shook Max's hand. "I was a little surprised by all this. Maria never mentioned you."

"I can say the same for you. I haven't talked to her more than a handful of times since she left but I would have thought she would have mentioned a husband and two daughters."

"She left a lot of things out on both sides," commented Josh.

"I don't think this is the time," chided Isabel. "Maria's going to have enough to handle. The secrets are all in the past, let them go." She handed two mugs to Max and Josh and motioned for them to sit down with her and Alex.

"Why did you need Maria to come back? She said you wouldn't tell her over the phone."

"I think we should tell Maria first," Isabel said but Max shook his head.

"Maria's asleep. Do you want me to go wake her?"

"No," Isabel said quickly. "She needs to sleep. She was exhausted." Josh was shocked at hearing these people talk about Maria like she was a common placed element in their lives. She had left them eight years ago and none of them seemed to harbor any anger or resent. In fact, they seemed to know her better than he did. Isabel saw the confused expressions that were crossing Josh's face and nodded to her brother.

"Well, everyone will know soon enough anyway. There was an accident," he said as he turned back to Josh. "Maria's parents, who I take it you didn't know, were in an accident with Liz's parents. Their car veered off a cliff and none of them made it." Max knew by that point that the only way to tell the story was to spit it out in one breath, as fast as possible. It helped him but it left Josh looking startled, especially when Isabel began to cry again.

"I'm so sorry. You must have been close."

"They were the parents of my wife and her best friend. I knew them as well as I know my own parents."

"When?"

"Yesterday morning we got the call. Liz answered it. She miscarried later in the day."

"Max—" Isabel put her hand on her brother's arm, trying to offer him as much support and comfort as was possible with her own hysterical crying. Alex was trying to calm her but she simply ignored him, much more worried about her brother than herself.

"I'm so sorry—" It was all Josh could think to say. He felt awful that this man had just lost half his family but for the life of him, Josh still didn't quite understand why he and Maria had needed to come. People didn't usually travel this far for funerals, especially for people that they hadn't seen in eight years.

"You must be worn out from the trip," mentioned Alex after a few minutes of silence. "I'll go get Maddie and we'll head home," he said to Isabel. She nodded and watched him leave; turning to Max she hugged him.

"We'll be back in the morning. I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he whispered back as she hugged her closer. He waved goodbye to Alex and smiled as he saw his five-year-old niece curled up in her dad's arms, her soft hallo of blond curls spilling everywhere. Five minutes later, the two men that had never met before were sitting alone in the kitchen. Max didn't know what to say or do and so he simply decided to leave. "There are clean towels in the bathroom and extra blankets in the trunk at the end of the bed. If you need anything, let me know."

"Thank you."

Max returned to Liz who had awoken for the first time since they had called Maria that morning. Her eyes were bloodshot and her hair needed washed but what really worried him was the fact that she was so quiet. She hadn't said a word since she had tried to call Maria nor had she actually moved. "Hi," he said softly as he sat down and wrapped his arms around her. The only indication that she heard him was her head falling to rest against his chest. "It's going to be alright. I promise," he whispered into her dark hair.

He suggested that she take a bath and after she continued to ignore him, he sighed and picked her up, carrying her into their bathroom himself. She was silent as the tub filled with warm, fragrant water and did not make a sound as he washed her hair. Completely numb, she only moved with the gentle direction of his hands. Half an hour later, she sat motionless on their bed in navy blue silk pajamas as he gently combed her sopping wet hair.

"Maria's here," he said gently, hoping to elicit some kind of response but sighed when she didn't even move her gaze from the wall in front of them. "Liz, please talk to me. Please say something." She remained quiet and still as her husband broke into sobs in her lap.

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><p>Thanks to those of you who have reviewed - continue to let me know what you think and if you enjoy the story!<p> 


	4. Home Sweet Home

Chapter 3 Home Sweet Home

The familiar playground was empty and she could hear the rusty swings swaying behind her. The only other sound was the wind rustling through the trees, its howl a sign of the arrival of autumn. Suddenly, just when began to think she was alone in this quiet, eerie place, she heard a sob from somewhere close by. She turned slightly and saw a handsome little boy with dark brown hair and the most soulful little green eyes she had ever seen. They were eyes so familiar that they made her heart skip a beat and she felt like her heart was pulling her towards him.

He stopped crying at the sight of her and simply stared; she thought his eyes might bore holes right through her. His little body still shook with silent sobs and hiccups as he sat all alone on the merry go round. Stepping forward with the desperate feeling that he needed her, she cried out in frustration and fear as he disappeared again. Once again, he was lost to her and the park slowly began to swirl as it too began to vanish. Maria's eyes shot open as she fought to keep her sobs silent. She reached over for the reassuring presence of her husband and could no longer hold back the tears when she realized that he too was nowhere to be found.

"No," Maria's pain-filled cry shook the entire house the next morning as Alex sat next to her and told her what had happened. His arms went immediately around her and he rubbed her back gently, trying to calm her sobs. She called weakly for Josh but Alex told her that he and Max had taken the three girls to the nearby park. She nodded, thanking God that someone had thought to get her girls out of the house; they shouldn't see her like this. Besides that, she wasn't sure if Josh would be there for her. Having slept the entire night on the floor, he had crept out of the room long before she had awoken. No matter how well he was behaving for the sake of the girls, he was obviously furious with Maria.

"I'm so sorry pixie," Alex whispered into her hair. He didn't know what else to say and silence was not an option. He just kept whispering whatever words came to mind but her crying only became less consolable when she heard him use her old nickname.

"I'm a horrible daughter. They died never knowing how much I loved them—"

"Stop that," Alex scolded gently. "They knew." He knew that his words were true; her parents had known how much Maria loved them. In fact, no one had ever questioned Maria's love, only her methods of dealing with life. She ran away and no one ever really understood her reasons for leaving. "They loved you and they knew they had raised an amazing daughter."

"Look what thanks I gave them," she scoffed.

"Pixie, don't do this to yourself," he soothed gently. He was still holding onto her tightly and he felt her chuckle but no sound came out.

"I never realized how much I missed you calling me that. That's what I call Ana and Nat."

"Well naturally," Alex said with a lopsided grin, "they are just as beautiful as their mama." Smiles disappeared in moment and were replaced by a new wave of tears on her part and a lump in his throat. She hugged him harder and buried her face further into her chest, wishing desperately for the pain to stop as suddenly as it had begun. Isabel sat next to them but knew that Alex would do more good; she was rough around the edges and never could find the right words but her husband had a more sympathetic nature than most nuns.

Growing up together, he had been more of a big brother to Maria than anything; always pulling her out of messes and making sure she was always safe. She had never terribly close to her father; he was from the old school of parenting where fathers were the means of income and mothers dealt with the rearing of children. Alex had always been Maria's male influence and her rock in times of crisis. The moment her parents died, he had known he was in for the biggest save of their lives.

Maria was still sobbing uncontrollably when she reached for the suitcase that had been stowed safely under her bed. Her hands shook as she neatly folded skirts, sweaters, and slacks back into the hunter green case and her crying made it difficult to see clearly the task at hand. It took her longer than she had expected and by the time she closed the case, Max was standing in the doorway watching her with an angry glare and a disappointed frown playing across that expression. Instead of yelling as she expected him to do, he quietly entered the guestroom and closed the door behind him, leaving no easily accessible exit for Maria.

"Is it easier?" He asked suddenly and caused her to look at him with a confused expression. "Is it easier?" He repeated as he moved to stare out the window. "To run, I mean. Did it work well for you all those years ago?"

"You don't know anything about it," she said coldly.

"You're right," he shot back. "Because you never let me help. Or anyone else for that matter. You just ran without a second thought to anyone else. So I want to know, was it worth it? Did it make life easier?"

"Just leave me alone," she said in a voice barely above a whisper. He wasn't looking at her but in the reflection of the window he could just make out the tears that were streaming down her porcelain cheeks.

"I can't let you do this again Maria. Not to Liz, not to yourself."

"What do you even know about it?" She asked angrily.

"Hey! They were my parents too. I grew up with them, they trusted me with their daughter, and I loved them as much as my own parents."

"I know," she said with a ring of guilt. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that—"

"Put that suitcase away before Isabel's done feeding the girls their lunch. You don't want them to get the wrong idea." Maria didn't answer but as soon as he left the room, she threw the suitcase at the door and watched as they clothes scattered every which way. Curling up into a tiny ball in the middle of the large bed, she hugged her knees and cried herself into a fitful sleep.

Funeral arrangements needed to be made and relatives needed to be contacted and since Liz wasn't exactly functioning, it was up to Maria and Max to worry about the details. Josh went with the two of them for a day full of errands while Isabel and Alex stayed at Max's house to keep an eye on Liz and occupy the children. Although closer in age to Anabelle, Madeline preferred to play with Natalie and so the two of them were keeping Alex busy in the front yard with a kite that he was going to have to work magic on to make airworthy. Isabel knew that there was a hole in the kite and it made her smile when she thought of how much effort her husband was going to put into making it fly. Anabelle had begged out of playing outside and was playing quietly in the living room, watching Isabel do paperwork.

Isabel had tried all morning to talk to the little girl but after several unsuccessful suggestions to occupy her, Isabel had turned to working on the accounts for the bookstore she and Alex owned. The radio played softly in the background and both Ana and Isabel seemed to be enjoying the happy Beatles songs over the silent melancholy of the house. Isabel watched Anabelle out of the corner of her eye and let the little girl do whatever she pleased. It wasn't until she started walking towards Liz's closed door that Isabel jumped up to stop her.

"Ana, honey, where are you going?"

"Someone's in there," she said with big eyes as she pointed towards Liz's door.

"I know sweetie. My sister is in there but she doesn't feel well, we should leave her alone. Come on, why don't we go outside with your sister?" Isabel suggested hopefully, not really knowing what else to do with her. Anabelle shook her head stubbornly and so Isabel simply shook her head and picked the little girl up, carrying her back to the kitchen.

"You can help me make a snack then. What do you like?"

"What's wrong with Mama?"

"_Oh dear God,"_ Isabel thought exasperatedly. _"This is Maria incarnated. She's much too observant for her own good. Just as stubborn too,"_ she thought with a wry smile. "Your Mom is just fine," Isabel assured the little girl quickly and then changed the subject. "Let's make a snack. They're going to be hungry from all the work to get that kite in the air. Do you like PBJs?"

"Mama's not just fine," Anabelle disagreed from her perch on a kitchen chair. "She cried last night. And Daddy wouldn't help her not be sad. He left her crying. He thought Nat and me were asleep."

"Oh sweetie," Isabel said with a sigh as she picked up the little girl. "Your mom is sad but she'll be fine."

"How come you know my mama so much?"

"We've been friends for a long time. Ever since Maria rescued my on stage in the third grade play," Isabel said with a smile as the memories came flooding back. Anabelle was listening with interest so she continued reminiscing. "I was afraid to sing in stage and so your mama promised to do it for me. When it was time for me to sing, she ran up on stage before the teacher could stop her and belted out my song. Maria always did like to sing."

"You're silly Aunt Isabel. Mama doesn't sing," Anabelle argued. Isabel was surprised by the little girl's comment but before she could say anything else, Alex came running into the house in hot pursuit of two giggling little girls.

"Isabel Amanda Whitman, why didn't you tell me there was a hole in this kite?" He demanded jokingly and the pretended to start chasing her too. She played along and giggled and ran after Madeline and Natalie with Anabelle in her arms. The four of them were cornered in the guest room and Alex was standing at the door, approaching quickly and making funny faces at the girls as he pretended to be coming after them.

"Maddie, you know there's only one way to stop him," Isabel whispered to her daughter with a sparkle in her eye. "Come on girls, she said as she pulled Maria's giggling daughters towards her husband. One, two, three!" Isabel and Madeline ran at Alex's tall and lanky frame and started to tickle him, making him eventually surrender. Being the good and fair wife she was, Isabel sat up and let him go, only to have him smile wickedly before lunging in to tickle her.

"That'll teach you," he said with a smile.

"No! Alex, that's not funny. No," she yelled but she was laughing and it completely negated any argument. The girls decided it looked like fun and were thrown into the muddle. It wasn't until Natalie let out a yelp and started to crawl out of the jumble of people that Alex and Isabel put a quick end to the game.

"What happened sweetie," Isabel asked as she scooted next to Natalie and tried to pull her hair away from her face so she could see the leg that the little girl was holding so gingerly. Natalie shook her head and tried to hold back a sniffle but Isabel could tell that she was in pain. "Let me see," she ordered gently as she pried Natalie's hands away from the bruise that was quickly forming on her pale leg. "What did you do?"

"Hit it on the stool," she said between sniffles. Isabel glanced over at the offending cushioned stool but was still wondering how such a big bruise could have come from simply hitting the stool.

"Does it still hurt?" Alex asked as he peered over Isabel's shoulder.

"Nope," Natalie said happily as she realized he was right and she no longer had any reason to cry. She stood up and bounced across the room towards the other two little girls before Isabel could say anything more. The fun continued and all of five of them were nearly exhausted from laughing and running around by the time Maria, Max, and Josh arrived home to find them.

"Should I be worried?" Maria asked with a small smile as she helped Isabel up from the floor.

"Mama!" Anabelle ran to hug her mother, something that she had been doing much more frequently with the coming of Maria's strange moods.

"Hi baby," she said absentmindedly as she stroked her daughter's hair. She had just picked out coffins and grave plots for her parents and she was tired. Her beige skirt was wrinkled from the car rides, her black sweater was starting to make her itch, and the barrette that held back her soft golden locks was starting to give her a headache. In short, she had a horrible day and wanted nothing more than to go to bed. Instead, she smiled at her daughter and listened to her prattle on about the day.

"Mama, Aunt Isabel's middle name is like my middle name." Isabel couldn't help smiling when she heard Anabelle call her aunt. It was something that she, Maria, and Liz had always assumed would be protocol with their children but with the events of the recent years, she couldn't believe it was actually being implemented. Suddenly understanding that Maria had indeed named one of her daughter's after her, Isabel's eyes misted over and she sat down on the bed.

"Yes it is pixie," Maria said as she sat on the edge of her bed next to Isabel and pulled Anabelle into her lap. "When I was little, Isabel was just as an important part of my life as you are now."

"Why didn't you name me after anyone?" Natalie asked with a pout before crossing her arms across her chest and sticking out her bottom lip.

"I did, baby girl. Don't jump to conclusions," she said with a smile as she patted the bed next to her. Natalie sat next to her and Maria was able to hold both of her girls at the same time. "Your middle name is my mom's name."

"Can we meet her too?" Natalie asked unexpectedly and Maria's eyes clouded over.

"Natalie—" Josh started to speak but Maria waved him off. She straightened her skirt under Anabelle and played with her rings for a moment before starting to answer.

"I'm sorry sweetie, my mama and daddy died a few days ago. That's why we came back here."

"I'm sorry Mama," Natalie said with more compassion and understanding than any normal six year old would have had.

"Poor Mama," Anabelle whispered as she turned around in her mother's lap and pushed the strands of blond hair behind her mother's ear; just as Maria did when she was trying to comfort her girls. New tears sprang to Maria's eyes as her daughters both moved to hug her. She clung to them for dear life and didn't notice when everyone else slowly began to leave the room.


	5. Funeral Parlor Paranoia

Chapter 4 Funeral Parlor Paranoia

Max shrugged his shoulders as he tried to familiarize himself with his new suit jacket. He tugged at the arms; unhappy with the way they pulled when he bent his arms. He glanced in the mirror in front of him and could see Liz sitting in the rocking chair by their window, staring out into the bright blue winter day. Her black jacket dress was hanging on the closet door but Max knew that she wouldn't put it on unless he physically made her. She didn't seem to want to do anything but she also wasn't active enough to fight anyone who tried to lead her along with the motions of life.

Maria had tried to talk to her but it had ended in with Maria in a fit of tears and Liz curled up in the fetal position on her bed. Isabel had tried her hand with Liz but a woman who was used to getting everything she wanted was not at all happy with Liz's silent treatment. Max had to step in just as his sister began to yell. Max had finally put his foot down and refused to allow his wife to sit in bed between nine in the morning and nine at night. Liz had retreated instead to the rocking chair by the window.

Max crossed the room to sit with his wife and tried to talk to her. She continued to stare out the window as he asked her to get dressed. His aggravation eventually got the better of him and he threw the dress on the bed before storming out of the room.

Liz ignored the sound of the door opening because she knew it was probably Isabel trying to convince her to cooperate with Max or Alex planning on getting her out of the room whether she liked it or not. It wasn't until she saw a tiny little girl with dark brown curls that she realized her assumption had been wrong. She had no idea who the little girl was but hoped that whomever was responsible for her would find her soon. She had stayed in her room since the arrival of Maria's children and had therefore missed meeting them.

"Are you sick?" After eliciting no response, Anabelle crept closer and, much to Liz's shock, ended up climbing into the strange woman's lap. "Aunt Isabel said you don't feel well."

"_Aunt, huh?"_ It was then that Liz realized that this little girl must belong to Maria. She certainly had the same prying personality and the same beautiful green eyes.

"But Daddy thinks maybe you're crazy," Anabelle whispered, causing Liz's eyes to widen in shock. _How dare a man she never met judge her?_ "Then mama hit him for saying that. She said you're the sanest person she knows." _That was her Maria all right, loyal to the bitter end_.

"Your Mama's right. Then again, she's not one to judge sanity," said Liz sarcastically, her voice fairly thick since she hadn't spoken in days. Anabelle's eyes flew open wide at the sound of the older woman's gentle voice but she smiled.

"You're Mama's friend."

"You're Maria's daughter." Anabelle smiled brightly and nodded.

"I'm sorry your Mama and Daddy died. My mama's Mama and Daddy died too. She's very sad."

"It's a very sad thing."

"Aunt Isabel says you have to talk about it. It makes it hurt less."

"Isabel just likes to talk."

"You're funny."

"You're cute," Liz said as she hesitantly raised a hand to stroke the little girl's hair. It was the first voluntary movement she'd made in days, other than walking to the rocking chair every morning. Anabelle was beautiful, a perfect replication of Maria at that age but with darker hair. Liz thought of the fact that her daughter might have had dark hair too and she felt a pang of excruciating hurt pass through her body. She couldn't clam up again; the numbness wasn't helping anyway.

"What's your name?"

"Anabelle Amanda Gilbert," Anabelle proclaimed with a smile.

"Well, Anabelle Amanda Gilbert, it is very nice to meet you. I'm Liz."

"I know," Anabelle said with a giggle, as though Liz should have known that.

"How old are you?" Liz asked out of curiosity and then smiled when Anabelle proudly held up four pudgy little fingers.

"How old are you?

"Your mama's age. Maybe I should get dressed," Liz said resolutely. Anabelle nodded solemnly.

"Daddy said that we have to leave soon."

"I'll only take a minute," Liz promised. She left Anabelle on the rocking chair and went to change into her dress. The tailored lines were smooth and crisp and for the first time in days, Liz felt completely pulled together. Outwardly, at least. She sat down at her vanity and didn't comment when Anabelle came to sit next to her. She started to do her hair and make up and even helped Anabelle experiment a little with her lightest lipstick. She was fastening a string of pearls around her neck when she heard the door open slowly.

"Anabelle Amanda Gilbert, what do you think you are doing?" Anabelle looked up in shock when she heard her mother's scolding question. She had been told numerous times not to enter this room and now she was really going to be in trouble; not just with her parents but with her Aunt Isabel and her Uncles Alex and Max. Her chin began to tremble and tears began to spring to her eyes at the thought that Isabel or Alex might not want to play with her again.

"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry," Maria started to apologize but Liz was already sitting beside Anabelle. She leaned down to whisper.

"It's alright. Go find your Daddy; I want to talk to your Mama for a minute. It's okay, you're not in trouble," Liz assured the little girl as she kissed her forehead. Anabelle skipped happily out of the room after realizing that she wasn't going to be in trouble after all. Maria stood near the door, not knowing what to make of Liz's sudden transformation. Max had been ready to start calling doctors and here she was functioning like a normal person again. Liz looked up at Maria standing near the door, wearing a black silk pantsuit, and motioned for her to sit down. The assortment of colorful, loud bracelets on Maria's left wrist reminded Liz of the things she had worn in high school and brought a smile to her pursed lips.

Once the two of them were sitting in front of the vanity, side by side, Liz put her arms around her friend and they sat together in silence. Their tears had long since run out and neither one of them had the energy left to mourn.

"I should hate you," Liz said suddenly with a serious expression that ended in a nod.

"Probably," Maria answered absently.

"I can't."

"I don't deserve you."

"You have a beautiful little girl."

"I have two beautiful little girls," Maria said with a smile. "The other one looks even more like me."

"Impossible," Liz said with a short laugh.

"You'll just have to come and see for yourself," she said as she stood up and extended her perfectly manicured hand. Liz stared at it for a moment, then at the door, before grasping Maria's fingers between her own and standing up as well. For the first time since she had received the news about her parents, Liz crossed the threshold out of her room and into the real world. It couldn't be more fitting that she did it clinging to her oldest and dearest friend. If Max was surprised to find that Liz had gotten herself out of bed, he hid it very well and went about the morning as nonchalantly as possible considering he was preparing for his in-laws funeral.

Maria heard the whispers traveling through the church, funeral parlor, and graveyard but tried to ignore the comments that she knew were mostly about her. People in her town hadn't seen her since her mysterious departure and now she had returned with two beautiful little girls and a husband. High school classmates murmured to each other, trying to decide if Natalie was old enough to be the reason she had left while mothers whispered to one another that she obviously hadn't joined some cult or rock band when she ran away.

Some people were more forward and exchanged whispers and murmurs for outright rude questions and comments. One little old lady even had the nerve to tell Maria directly that she should never have brought children to a funeral parlor. She was quiet about her success, not truly answering the questions posed to her because she really did not feel it was anyone's business what she did for a living or how she had met her husband. To find out either, all they had to do was go into Isabel's bookstore and pick up her latest release.

Before she could answer a particularly rude and inappropriate comment, Alex appeared out of nowhere and swept her away—leaving the woman muttering about the ill manners of young people. "Thank you," she said as she let her head fall against his chest.

"Not a problem pixie. Some days are just not days to be dealing with Mrs. Wildham." She smiled and leaned closer to him, wondering where the originator of that nickname might be that very night. Surely he had heard of the events and she could not help but wonder what had kept him away when Liz and Max needed him most. Josh appeared in her peripheral vision and she dismissed the thoughts of the rouge friend, allowing herself to actually listen to Alex go on about some new computer program he was about to release that was going to revolutionize something or other.

Max had been keeping a close eye on Liz all night but she seemed to be fending for herself that particular moment and he knew that Alex was close by and would intervene if she had any problems. Taking advantage of the few minutes reprieve from what had, in the past few days, become a constant watch over his best friend and wife, Max ducked out onto the terrace of the funeral parlor where he assumed fewer people would be gathered. He was surprised to walk directly into his next-door neighbor as he tried to escape the chaos inside.

"Dan! Sorry about that!" He said as he caught himself and steadied his balance.

"Don't worry about it," the other young man said as he dusted imaginary dust from his immaculate and very expensive black suit. "Sorry to hear about you in-laws. I wasn't sure if I should come but after all, we've gone to school together since the first grade. I still remember some of the dances that the Parkers used to chaperone."

"Don't remind Liz," Max replied with a chuckle. "She hated those dances."

"Hey," Dan said as if just remembering something. "I heard that Deluca girl came back for the funerals. Hear anything about that?"

"Yeah," Max said hesitantly. There were too many people everywhere asking too many questions, especially since he tended to be a secretive person. He was a bit uncomfortable with Daniel's sudden interest in Maria but he brushed it off as funeral parlor paranoia. The neighbor was simply unfamiliar with the other visitors and was trying his best to make small talk. "She just came into town with her husband and two daughters."

"Yeah, I saw them at your house. Little beauties. The oldest must be—what—eight?"

"Six," Max corrected him and wondered how he had guessed at all if he'd only seen Natalie in passing. "If you'll excuse me, I have to find Liz—"

"Of course. Give her my condolences—"

"Will do," Max promised as he backed off of the terrace and into the chaotic and uncomfortable main room of the funeral home.


End file.
